Let's Talk Crap.

There's this girl I know that is overweight. She's lazy. Doesn't like to exercise, and her will power isn't too strong. Her dad is already a diabetic, and her mom is prone to becoming one in the future as well. You would think that her becoming diabetic even before she hits her thirties would have run through her mind already. Her weight is 198 pounds, and she is 5'0" tall. That is a lot of weight for a small body type like that. She did the research, and it turns out that she is obese for her body type.

The funny thing is she knows everything she has to do to lose weight. Exercise, eat right, etc. And the other funny thing is when she says she's gonna start the dieting, but then in about two or three weeks goes back to her old ways all over again and gains the weight back...

This girl is me.

I don't want to be this anymore. Almost two years ago, I used to fit into a size 11 pant. Two years later today, I fit into a size 15 and I think I'm still gaining weight. I also weighed 160 pounds. Since then, I've gained almost 40 pounds.

This whole blog isn't about me worried about how I look. I know that no matter what size or shape you are, you're beautiful. It's the inside that counts. This whole blog is about me being healthy, which is one thing I'm not, and really have never been. For a person my height, I should weigh at the most 130 pounds. I am 70 pounds overweight. That's a lot, but I never did weigh what I was supposed to. I've always been overweight, since I can remember.

When I was younger I used to get a lot of crap from my mom because I was always overweight. Did I eat a lot? No. It's all just a lack of physical activity. I just never understood how my mom thought that negative comments would help anything. It just made me feel worse. It made me angry and want to do less and eat more so she could really talk her crap. I know my mom never meant to hurt me, cause that's how her whole family is. They like to 'bag' on people. (I guess that's where I learned not to make fun of people because I never liked it. And up to date, I still don't pick on people about their physical features. It's mean, and it may hurt their feelings and lead to other things.) In my case, I never found it funny to be made fun of. I used to cry myself to sleep cause I didn't want to be fat anymore. This was around the age of 11.

At the age of 11 I was worried about what I looked like and what clothes hid my fat the best. No lie. I don't know about you, but I still think that's really young to be worrying about stuff like that. I stopped wearing shorts and skirts because I felt my legs were too fat for them, when they really weren't. So even to date, I won't wear a skirt past the knees or shorts. It's just something I'm not comfortable with anymore.

Eventually, my sophomore year came, and I went about my weight a whole different way. And maybe cause I also had a lot going on at home, my weight stood at about 160. At the moment, I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. I felt that I should only eat when I got hungry. So I would never eat breakfast or lunch at school. I got really sick a lot of the time, and mean headaches. Toward the end of the school year, I had missed a lot of school because of it. I started eating lunch at school when Andy and I started going out. He would always make me eat, haha. But thanks to him, I guess, I also gained weight.

Yesterday, I found my phone from Sprint and was looking at all the pics I had in there, I was so much thinner. 40 pounds makes a huge difference. I showed Andy, and we discussed the whole starving situation which was the reason I was about 160 at the time. He said he would rather have me be the way I am now than to having me starve myself just to stay thinner. I found that I also liked not starving myself. I don't get headaches now, and I don't almost pass out during passing periods anymore.

Yeah, I'm better off not starving myself, but I'm also better off fixing my dieting habits. So, I was looking up different diets that aren't dangerous and actually involve doing things naturally. A lot of people have heard of this one. It's called the military diet because men in the military use it to get to a certain weight class. I really think anybody can do it. It's healthy, not very costly; it consists of most things you probably already have at home, and all you have to do is exercise. You can lose up to 10 pounds in three days. It sounds unreal, but I think it actually might work. I'm gonna give it a try.

Of course there's also more stuff you should know if you wanna try it. Google it. I would tell you myself, but I'm in a bit of a hurry now, haha. Sorry.

The point is that I want to be somewhat healthy. For now, my goal is to lose at least 6 pounds on that diet. And if I lose more weight, it's all for the better, haha. But if I see it really does work out for me, I'm gonna keep doing it, and I'm gonna keep updating on how I'm doing. I really hope this works out for me. My body really needs it. I don't want to be a twenty-year-old diabetic, and thin out my chances of being able to grow old without it.

I want to prove to myself that I can do this the healthy way, and not starve myself. I want to prove my parents wrong and make them have faith in me again. I want to do this mostly for myself.




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