Rainy Days.

Well, this week was going pretty well until today when it began to rain on my way into school and all of my clothes got soaked. My toes and hands were frozen the whole day, and it was very unpleasant being in school feeling like I just came out of a pool on a cold day.

But like everything else, the rain has its good and its bad sides. I honestly don't mind the rain or cloudy days the majority of the time. I don't know what it is about days like these that make me feel at peace.

I remember when Andy and I used to sit in his car sometimes on rainy days listening to music, but also listening to the pitter-patter of the rain on the car's window. We would just park on some random street and just sit there and talk or cuddle.

Or other times, we would go to wherever it was that I was living and we would get blankets and just cuddle up.

And then there was the times before Andy came and our whole house would just be dim from the sun hiding behind the clouds, and all that was on around our house was the candles my mom loves to light. Scented candles. A vanilla, or cherry pie, or some sort of homey scent like that would make the whole house smell and feel so comfortable. I miss that..

It's All Good, Baby.

My 3-day weekend was great. I know today isn't over yet, but I know that overall, it was the best weekend I've had in a long time. There's nothing better than spending your days with your family (:

Friday; Monica, Andy, and I went bowling. It was my first time bowling and I didn't do as bad as I thought I would, haha. I scored 3 strikes in 2 games. And I won the second game, haha. Then I finally got my phone reactivated thanks to my grandma. Then, I spent the night at Monica's, and that was fun like always.

Saturday; Monica, Rene, Jeanette, and I all went to the Tumbleweeds show in Fullerton in Juan's car and listened to Eisley, Lights, and Meg&Dia. The show was nice. It was held at the Santa Fe Express Cafe right at a metro station and it was nice. Media also played, and I hadn't seen them in a while. It was cold out, but the music was nice. And it felt good to get out. We headed back at around 10 and got home at almost 11 and the rest of the night I spent with Andy again (:

Sunday; We went back to Monica's house, and I spent a whole day with Andy. It was great. We didn't do much, but the rain, and just being with my family felt great. We played Clue, and some of Monopoly, but we stopped cause we ended up wanting to get ice cream. Andy and I went to buy Monica and me some ice cream, and it felt good riding in a car with Andy on a rainy night listening to John Mayer. I missed him so much. It felt good to be next to him alone again. I loved it.

Today; is another rainy day in January. I'm stuck home with nothing to do, but I don't mind it. I've been in my pajamas all day wearing Andy's jacket, and just fidgeting with things on the Internet. I love it. It would be better if Andy were here, but I just have to be patient to see him again.

So, that's my whole weekend. I enjoyed it thanks to my family. Especially Andy. We spent five days in a row together. I love you, baby<3

<33

"patience is the key to life."

This is what I always say. I always knew what it meant, and even though I thought I did, I guess I never really believed in it until now.

Surprisingly, this year has started off very well for me. Regardless of all of the pain and heartbreak that I've put myself through these past few months, my life has really turned around. All I needed was patience.

A lot of the times, we give advice, but don't take it, and for once, I finally took my own, and it worked.

On New Year's Eve, I finally decided to put everything in the hands of God. I told Him that from that point on I was letting go. My new year was going to start off according to what he wanted me to do. I was no longer going to try to control my life. And I know that nobody is supposed to try to control their life and that you should always leave your life in the hands of God, but the ugly truth is that before we know it, the majority of the time, we tend to forget that God is there and we end up wanting to take control because we don't like what we have coming up against us. But this time, I decided to let go. The breakup, Andy, how miserable I was about moving out here, and so many other things were going to be put behind me and I was going to walk ahead with my chin up.

Right when I said this to myself and God, my heart felt such a weight lifted off its fragile-self, and it felt like someone had just sprinkled pixie dust on me or waved a magic wand over my body. I didn't feel this way instantly, but within a few days after that, things felt like they were falling into place.

I made a new friend out here, and when I started school, I actually felt a bit happy and excited. I was beginning to feel happy with deciding to stay here in Perris. Of course, I still felt a bit of heartbreak, but I knew that things happened for a reason.

I knew that Andy had done what he had done for a reason, but I was no longer going to bother him about it, and even though in my heart I felt that I had a huge part of me missing not knowing the truth about why he did what he did, I almost decided to let it all go. Up until I finally got the answer to what I had been looking for.

Two Wednesday mornings ago, I woke to reading a blog written to me by Andy. It was an apology explaining why he had done what he did, and a few other things. When I read it, my heart fluttered and then dropped. It felt like a baby bird when it wants to begin flying, but still doesn't know how to. Reading it made me know that he had always loved me this whole time, but it also made me sad to know that all of the pain that I had gone through could have been avoided if he had just said that from the beginning.

That Wednesday was my first day back to school. As much as I tried to avoid it, the blog came coming back to me. I wanted to let go. I was confused because so many promises were broken, but yet again, Andy had come through like he always did. He broke through and once again brought upon another life lesson for me. He has done it all over again.

Friday of the same week, Andy and I talked things out.

And today, we remain inevitable. I realized that I was always in a rush for some reason or had some sort of pressure on me. For what? I honestly still don't know, but I no longer feel that rush or pressure that I used to feel. I feel patient.

I guess I always knew that I Andy would stand by me no matter what, but maybe I needed to actually see something done to understand it. At this moment, there is no rush, or impatience. I feel calm about things going on with me. And for some reason, I already know that I'm going to live a good year. WE are going to live a good year, and even a good life. All we have to do is be patient.

How long this emotion will last, I honestly don't know, but I really hope it lasts forever because I'm really loving it. My life at the moment, is very good thanks to God. Is my time finally here for things to be okay? Well, I'll find out soon. And if not, then waiting this time won't be so bad.

Thank you for reading.
   

Decision Made.

Man, oh, man....

Who knew that so much could happen in such a short amount of time? I sure as hell did not, haha.

So, my decision has been made. I'm officially staying here in Perris.

God works in such mysterious ways... wow.

Maybe life here in Perris won't be so bad. I honestly don't know what it is, but I think I'm beginning to move on.

Everything does happen for a reason. And for those of you out there that don't believe in that concept, before you know it, you'll be figuring that all on your own. I promise.

Well, Happy New Year to everyone out there.

I wish everyone a year with blissful memories, and lots of love, and happiness.

Thank you (: